may 24/2025

whats up?
i want to have friends, well not friends friends but like people i could hangout with, and have fun with. shit. and like i do want friends yes i want them so badly i want to hangout with them and roleplay with them and giggle but for like a temporary amount of time. i want to feel, slightly alive again you know? i want to mean something to someone, disappear, and for my presence to reside in their mind forever.
anyways it feels kind of weird to desire connection with other people when my north node is in my first house, as well as saturn being in my eleventh. i know im not supposed to be gravitating towards connection because i might get hurt, or lose myself but its all that i ever knew, its the only method that pulls me away from being crushed under my harrowing thoughts.