this part of the site is still being constructed.. go back?

june 11/2025
literally yesterday i jumped into my seat, and remembered that i had a neocities so i was like "i NEED to make this look decent enough for it to satisfy me" for no certain reason. so, moving on how have things been? well good, i mean nothing outstanding. i just spent most of my days scrolling on platforms like tumblr, and just searching for stuff to keep me going.
i barely have any artblock so thats something im really proud of. im also practicing some manifestation here and there for abundance, and for those who have wronged me to atone (or just suffer). ive also have been also reflecting on my behavior, and being active in some hobbies i forgot to continue with.
(ill make sure to make a longer entry next time. this one is a little too short)

may 24/2025
i want to have friends, well not friends friends but like people i could hangout with, and have fun with. shit. and like i do want friends yes i want them so badly i want to hangout with them and roleplay with them and giggle but for like a temporary amount of time. i want to feel, slightly alive again you know? i want to mean something to someone, disappear, and for my presence to reside in their mind forever.
anyways it feels kind of weird to desire connection with other people when my north node is in my first house, as well as saturn being in my eleventh. i know im not supposed to be gravitating towards connection because i might get hurt, or lose myself but its all that i ever knew, its the only method that pulls me away from being crushed under my harrowing thoughts.